Goodbye for now, Mom
I apologize for being a way for a month. On May 2 my 88-year-old mother passed away. I have just not been able to maintain my typical work schedule. In memoriam, I'd like to relate her virtues as a mother and a person to those of a leader.
The second strand of 3strands LEADERSHIP is Meaningful Work. The third strand is Sincere Gratitude.
Leaders are wise to learn from the examples of loving mothers (and other parents) when it comes to these two disciplines. Great mothers have a lasting impact on the lives of their children, grandchildren, and others for years after they have passed away.
I encourage you to consider three reminders of great leadership from my Mom:
#1 - She always believed in me
I have had failures and continue to make mistakes, but Mom was always an encourager. When mistakes occurred, there were questions, discussion, and a focus on how to learn and move on. There was no bitterness, unforgiveness, or withheld love.
As leaders, reinforcing our belief in the potential of our people rather than harping on their past is an act of Sincere Gratitude that communicates we value the members of our team. If someone is failing to meet our expectations then our responsibility is to help them improve.
If they cannot improve through our standard processes and communications (Systematic Power), then we must put them on a formal 90 day performance improvement plan ("PIP") to emphasize their need to do better. If they cannot, then the best thing for both parties is to let them go, and encourage them in their next opportunity.
Great leaders believe in their people.
#2 - She was a teacher
My Mom taught fourth and fifth graders for about seven years when I was a teenager. My parents struggled to make ends meet, although they hid that from us kids. Mom went back to school and got her teaching credentials so she could contribute.
Mom loved teaching. She worked so hard with the kids and tried to hold things together on the homefront, that it was common she would be crying driving home from her school on Friday afternoons. She had given all that she could. She had encouraged. She had energized. She had believed in each one of her students.
Even during the last two years as her health declined, she welcomed any opportunity to read a story to our four adopted children or help them learn something about nature, the plants in our garden, or Dave the Pig that lived next door (No relation to me...).
She was always patient and encouraging with the children, as she was with me. She believed in a better future. She was thankful for what she had. She tried her best to never quit.
Great leaders take the time to patiently, encouragingly teach.
#3 - She was always glad to see me
Whether it was a phone call or a visit to her home, Mom always started the conversation with joy in her voice, thanking me for reaching out.
My sister, Janet, worked incredibly hard to coordinate schedules of up to eight different caregivers during these past 2-3 years as Mom's health faded. She was also often there at Mom's place helping her over a weekend, or interrupting her week if a caregiver canceled. Mom loved Janet and appreciated all that she did for her.
I spent less time with Mom than Janet. Part of me felt that Mom's enthusiastic greetings to me were unearned and undeserved. I stopped by less often, cracked a few jokes to make her laugh, and did not stay as long as Janet. But my Mom's love was not based on my performance.
Think back to how much it touched you when someone greeted you enthusiastically. Whether it was love, thankfulness, or something else that was sincere... there is something special about being sincerely welcomed with joy. The greeting may have been quiet, or it may have been loud. But it was real. Sincere Gratitude is powerful.
Great leaders greet people with appreciation.
I hope you are blessed in your relationships with your parents. May you also demonstrate these three attributes in your personal and professional leadership.
It's the end of May. 2016 will be over before we know it. Are you focusing on what is truly most important? Are you working "on" your business, or spending too much time "in" it?
